reminiscence

I just spent about an hour re-reading old posts from a long forgotten blog.  I’d gone looking for some long-lost poem I’d written for jme… I wanted to find it and re-gift it to him for Valentines Day.

Reading the stories of my life over the past 5 years was rather cathartic.  Loads of drama.  A tuck load or two of ranting.  More drama – just for fun.

I lived a very chaotic life 5 years ago.

My life is still rather chaotic, but now in more good ways than bad.

I  enjoyed reading my own words.  Maybe I’m just a little full of myself, but I think I had some rather profound things to say – between rants and over-caffinated poetry… though some of the poetry is pretty darn good and will most likely find it’s way into some music over the next few months.

I admire the way I was able to spill it all out on the table.  I’ve become more reserved in recent years.  I know I have good reasons to keep my cards a little closer to my chest… and I’m thankful that the drama is so much less… but I was so brutally honest and truthful about my thoughts and feelings back then – with anyone who cared to read.

These days I’d really rather keep the mess in a tidy junk drawer.

I didn’t fine the poem.

But I don’t think jme will mind…

I was reminded that what I did find, in all that mess, was myself.